Prioritizing for Maniacs Tool #7
Big Picture Questions
I am still figuring out how to live my life and every year I find areas where I need to shift the way I think about something or approach it so that I can be effectual. These tools help me see what is going on. Some years I find old habits from school or childhood that were rooted in pleasing external punishing figures and have nothing to do with actual achievement or personal satisfaction. Some years I realize I need a new tool to help me make progress in an area where I am spinning my wheels. Some years I realize that my goals have changed, sometimes without my noticing, and it is time for me to update my behaviors accordingly.
The older I get, and the longer I am a parent, the more I realize that it is important to identify the problem candidly. Why am I frustrated? What is the pain point here? Sometimes it's as simple as "I need to eat much earlier in the day." Other times it is complicated, like handling a disordered relationship. For a very practical example, I recently upsized our water filter, increased the speed by increasing the number of filters, and added a view spigot because finding the filter empty was an every day occurrence, often just as I needed to boil a pot of water or fill bottles. It was giving "am I the only one around here who notices anything?" Rather than carrying on an extended campaign to increase a sense of responsibility for this diffuse task in the three other members of my family tall enough to refill the filter, I made it easier, and more obvious. Even the younger two can participate because they can alert someone if the view spigot is low. I noticed something that was causing issues regularly and gave myself the gift of the simplest, lowest-effort solution. Five years ago, I would have decided to just work harder.
However, just like we need to remember what we are for, we need to remember to slow down and notice what we are experiencing. Rather than immediately jumping in with "easy" solutions, we may be due for soul-searching to see if it is time for us to step back from old roles, routines, or standards and approach our life with First Principle Thinking. Why am I here? How much of my time is spent doing what makes the most sense? What changes should I make to live a more satisfying life? Are there parts of my life that I am afraid to examine, and if so, why? What would it look like if I allowed myself to look at my whole life candidly and determine where I like the choices I am making, and where I need to start making choices I like?
Fight for small gains where you can and you will often find a cascade of improvements. I find that carving out a little space to think and feel is often the hardest thing to do, and offers the greatest dividends. Socrates claimed that "the unexamined life is not worth living." If you want to work out the meaning of your life, and work meaning into your life, you need to take the time to examine it courageously, and make changes accordingly.
Read the whole series:
- Know your specs (January 15, 2026)
- Slay the perfectionism dragon (January 22, 2026)
- Eisenhower matrix (January 29, 2026)
- Scheduling maintenance (February 5, 2026)
- The Ignatian Method (February 12, 2026)
- Believe that you too only have 24 hours in a day (February 19, 2026)
- Big Picture Questions (February 26, 2026)