What am I supposed to do if my partner hates body hair or "heavily prefers" me with makeup/hair dye?

This can be tough, depending on the nature of the partnership, and the partner in particular. For us, if we were dating someone who hated our natural body/face, that would be immediate breakup territory. Inside a marriage, that's a difficult situation, and the extent to which it can be remedied is ultimately going to come down to your partner's willingness to grow. We will do more in-depth work on this, because so much depends on how your spouse communicates and makes space for you to disagree with them and still be loved. There isn't a pat answer here, but the shortest possible version is to see this as an opportunity to understand your partner better, and make decisions accordingly.

Helen only made slight changes to her routine after meeting her now-husband; he actually met her the last night she wore makeup. She was already rocking her body hair, natural curls, and so on. For Forty, the only "big" shift was giving up shaving her legs/underarms entirely around year 14 of marriage. It took a few months for enough hair to come in where she could see how much was left after all the lasering, and realize she never has and never will see what her natural legs would have looked like, as she had never left them alone since puberty. Her underarms have virtually no hair from the laser hair removal.

Forty's husband never said anything and after a few months, she mentioned her decision. He simply said he'd noticed. He doesn't mind. By this point in the marriage there had been plenty of variation in dedication to shaving over the winter months/pregnancies, so perhaps he had already adjusted.

For both of us, dealing with a spouse with a hatred of our natural bodies is a theoretical topic. We believe it would be hard to have sex with someone who feels entitled to customize our body and demonize a normal adult trait. It might be helpful to slowly ease off beauty routines while having those discussions about this issue, including helping one's spouse see the reasonableness of learning to reverse the brain washing on this issue. They may need to explore the societal belief that the beauty of a wife reflects the status of her spouse, an objectifying situation if ever there was one. Some women have had success after insisting their male partner undergo the maintenance that hairlessness actually requires, from shaving to bikini waxes. For most men, one strip of waxing is enough to convince them that it's an inhumane expectation that women have hair ripped out by the roots on one of the most sensitive parts of the body.

It should go without saying that abuse is never acceptable and placating an abuser does not afford real safety or happiness. If you are not sure about your situation, you can reach out to the National Domestic Abuse Hotline to talk through your situation; it is not only for people experiencing obvious physical abuse. Coercive control, emotional abuse, financial abusive, psychological abuse, etc. make it difficult to see clearly; if you have any concerns, please check in with someone trained to help you. If you are outside of the United States, you can still use this resource, but will need to find practical resources closer to home (counseling, shelters, etc.).